he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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