I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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