Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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