we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
