I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
