She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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