idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
