she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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