I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
