Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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