it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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