I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
