You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
