Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
