Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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