how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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