how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
