That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
