He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize