Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Church boner. Awkwardddd
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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