I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
