just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
