so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
