I just cut my nipple shaving
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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