How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
