I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
