he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
