i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
