I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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