Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
