someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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