I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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