i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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