Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
