need another drink. this is the easiest way
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
