There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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