'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
