The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
