If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize