i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
