i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
