She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
