I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
