If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it hurts more in the daytime
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
