If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
