I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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