hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
