the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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