woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
