I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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