OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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