I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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