I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
