You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
