I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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