dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
