he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize