I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
