ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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