Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
