I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
