D3 body, D1 cock
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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