I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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