Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
