Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
